In conversation with a gay!

Monday, February 26, 2007
In conversation with a gay!
I am a highly biased and opinionated human being. I have an opinion, and a very strong one rather, about everything that goes about, that I have seen and experienced. Yet there are things I have never come across, and it is this unknown, unseen that I am always interested to prod about, investigate and know. This includes just about anything within the domains of my imagination. I'll elaborate- I go about looking for meaning, for substance in whatever that may seem abstract or eccentric to a normal human vision. I am counting my vision as that of a normal human being here, though I know some of you can raise doubts ;-) Well I don't mind being unconventional , and I do give my attention to whatever needs attention, unlike girls of my age who are either ignorant or indifferent or pretend to be indifferent to lots of things. For instance, I sometimes do ask guys who scrap/send friend requests (only when they seem reasonable enough) that why do they want a friend whose existence is virtual, I know they do so with the objective that some day they will get to meet the person, but I like studying the response / answer (the answer could be impolite) wich definitely helps me to analyze the state of mind of the other person. This is a very small example though.I like to see if people seem to know what they are doin or are they just doing it in a haze!Off late, I have begun to consider that lots of ethical issues in the world cannot be viewed as either right or wrong, whatever it be – be it a choice of sexuality, extra marital issues or whatever. Its just not essential that what may seem right to you will be right to another human being. Every action you take has its goods as well as the bads, its just that you need to be aware of what direction you choose to go and whether you really know what you are doing or not? Or whether you are just being under a chimerical influence? If somebody does something which is different from what I do, I think it wont affect me one bitesp. in my demeanor to the person
you can do something which is highly socially acceptable and yet be discontented with your life or you can do something entirely revolting and yet just be at peace with yourself.\n This point should not be taken as my liking / fascination for any socially acceptable thing, I believe what is acceptable is due to the fact that people usually do that, and since more number of people choose to do that, it might be correct as \nwell.My above point should only convey that my judgement of anything is free from any preconceived notions and prejudices, somebody's personal choices in life do not hamper me from seeing the good in another person, or just do a normal social etiquette towards the \nperson.If someone follows a tried and tested conventional way of living, its ok! But if somebody follows a different way of life, I can be hugely tolerant of it. Because I think I don't have either the right or the authority to decide what's right and what's not for everybody, I can just do it for myself. And I should never pass a judgement on the other.\nThe person I want to talk about is the one I met in Hotel ashoka during practice session of a soon to be held fashion event. I am a co- organizer in the event( coz I am investing money in it) and most of the times I work backstage to arrange the various things. It was my job to choreograph certain sequences and this guy that I am gonna talk about , was a part of it. He is a known model, and is quite a looker. Initially nobody knew nobody so everybody interacted well, then after some days, the rumor mills churned the news of his being a gay, as soon as the rumor spread , he began to face a social stigma, nobody ate with him, or even talked normal, most of the times, it was indirect sarcasms, or indignant mockery. I found him usually deluded, his demeanor showed he was looking for some way to escape out of here. I told some guys I had become friends with to treat him nicely atleast, but to no \n",1]
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concerned.Your choice decides your fate, your happiness, i.e you can do something which is highly socially acceptable and yet be discontented with your life or you can do something entirely revolting and yet just be at peace with yourself. This point should not be taken as my liking / fascination for any socially unacceptable thing, I believe what is acceptable is due to the fact that people usually do that, and since more number of people choose to do that, it might be correct as well.My above point should only convey that my judgement of anything is free from any preconceived notions and prejudices, somebody's personal choices in life do not hamper me from seeing the good in another person, or just do a normal social etiquette towards the person.If someone follows a tried and tested conventional way of living, its ok! But if somebody follows a different way of life, I can be hugely tolerant of it. Because I think I don't have either the right or the authority to decide what's right and what's not for everybody, I can just do it for myself. And I should never pass a judgement on the other. The person I want to talk about is the one I met in Hotel ashoka during practice session of a soon to be held fashion event. I am a co- organizer in the event( coz I am investing money in it) and most of the times I work backstage to arrange the various things. It was my job to choreograph certain sequences and this guy that I am gonna talk about , was a part of it. He is a known model, and is quite a looker. Initially nobody knew nobody so everybody interacted well, then after some days, the rumor mills churned the news of his being a gay, as soon as the rumor spread , he began to face a social stigma, nobody ate with him, or even talked normal, most of the times, it was indirect sarcasms, or indignant mockery. I found him usually deluded, his demeanor showed he was looking for some way to escape out of here. I told some guys I had become friends with to treat him nicely atleast, but to no
Today ( these days we have practices since 4 am in the morning ), I succeeded in making him talk a bit. Such people , who have been socially ostracized always think that the person who is talking to them must be doing it for some reason, some benefit, it is difficult for them to believe that somebody can be genuinely harmless and nice. He usually didn't share the jokes all of us had while working, and he couldn't do that due to hostility and coldness of people around. I had tried talking him before too( last week to be precise) but just as I had said- he thought I had a prank or something on my mind, so he had just answered my question curtly and rushed out of the hall. I had asked him which place does he belong to?\nOn the ramp, he does his work flawlessly, and I am all for people who do their job perfectly, but after his sequence nobody claps and rejoices him, so today after his sequence when I looked and smiled at him, I found him come and stand next to me, and everywhere across the hall I could see hostile, furtive glances all directed at me. To that , I showed a usual, practiced indifference. This time he was the one to strike a conversation and asked- How do you manage so many things at the same time? ( he meant a full time profession along with coming there and organizing an event)\nI told him- " It's a very long and a very boring story, it's the one I lived with for four years in college- I had double the workload as rest of my batchmates + lots of personal issues and it would be very awfully boring to listen to or \n",1]
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avail.My initial interaction with him( before I knew anything) was pure business, but later I changed my attitude, but I changed it in a way so that he doesn't take it as an act of sympathy / kindness. My normal behavior towards any human cannot be bad, as long as the person doesn't harm me, I am not indifferent, hostile or ignorant until and unless there is a very strong reason to do so, and here I had none. But the other people had a reason for doing what they were doing( in their eyes ofcourse). Today ( these days we have practices since 4 am in the morning ), I succeeded in making him talk a bit. Such people , who have been socially ostracized always think that the person who is talking to them must be doing it for some reason, some benefit, it is difficult for them to believe that somebody can be genuinely harmless and nice. He usually didn't share the jokes all of us had while working, and he couldn't do that due to hostility and coldness of people around. I had tried talking him before too( last week to be precise) but just as I had said- he thought I had a prank or something on my mind, so he had just answered my question curtly and rushed out of the hall. I had asked him which place does he belong to? On the ramp, he does his work flawlessly, and I am all for people who do their job perfectly, but after his sequence nobody claps and rejoices him, so today after his sequence when I looked and smiled at him, I found him come and stand next to me, and everywhere across the hall I could see hostile, furtive glances all directed at me. To that , I showed a usual, practiced indifference. This time he was the one to strike a conversation and asked- How do you manage so many things at the same time? ( he meant a full time profession along with coming there and organizing an event) I told him- " It's a very long and a very boring story, it's the one I lived with for four years in college- I had double the workload as rest of my batchmates + lots of personal issues and it would be very awfully boring to listen to or
He smiled, his first I had seen in days I knew this coz I had observed him since the day I had heard about him). I was interested in talking to him , but I feared my blatantnesscould be mistaken as my insensitivity , so I found myself unusually short of making a conversation. \nIf I talk with strangers, its for one of the two reasons – Either they have to have something new to offer in conversation or I am inquisitive about them in some way. For cases not qualifying under above two, I am indifferent\n.This person gave me both the reasons, and yet I was quiet. Somehow after sometime I just rattled off about the event. After a while, he said – You talk a lot. It was not the first time I was hearing this, so I told him- I've heard that before, say something I don't know.\nHe said- " You have a great worked out body"I answered- If I am supposed to have worked upon it, then I ought to know that as well.Then he gave a very loud, vague laugh and told me that I can work on ramp as well.\nThen I went back to talking about the sequences, in one of The Ancient India sequences we were using phrases from Meghdoot, Kalidas' work. I told him I couldn't realize how a person like Kalidas who was left by his wife due to his foolishness and ignorance could write such beautiful things about love, as in Meghdoot.\nWhat he asked me then didn't relate to my conversation exactly, but he asked me – " what would you have done in case you were Kalidas' wife?"I told him- If that Kalidas was poor, I would have left him instantly, but if he was rich, I would've taken some time to do it.\nThen we both laughed out loud, to the dismay of the other people present.Then he asked me – " Do you have a boyfriend"I told him- the secret of being a bore is to tell everything. Then, I asked him – why do you want to know?(I emphasized on the why particularly)\n",1]
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explain.I had mastered the art of handling too many things back then.He smiled, his first I had seen in days I knew this coz I had observed him since the day I had heard about him). I was interested in talking to him , but I feared my blatantnesscould be mistaken as my insensitivity , so I found myself unusually short of making a conversation. If I talk with strangers, its for one of the two reasons – Either they have to have something new to offer in conversation or I am inquisitive about them in some way. For cases not qualifying under above two, I am indifferent .This person gave me both the reasons, and yet I was quiet. Somehow after sometime I just rattled off about the event. After a while, he said – You talk a lot. It was not the first time I was hearing this, so I told him- I've heard that before, say something I don't know. He said- " You have a great worked out body"I answered- If I am supposed to have worked upon it, then I ought to know that as well.Then he gave a very loud, vague laugh and told me that I can work on ramp as well. Then I went back to talking about the sequences, in one of The Ancient India sequences we were using phrases from Meghdoot, Kalidas' work. I told him I couldn't realize how a person like Kalidas who was left by his wife due to his foolishness and ignorance could write such beautiful things about love, as in Meghdoot. What he asked me then didn't relate to my conversation exactly, but he asked me – " what would you have done in case you were Kalidas' wife?"I told him- If that Kalidas was poor, I would have left him instantly, but if he was rich, I would've taken some time to do it. Then we both laughed out loud, to the dismay of the other people present.Then he asked me – " Do you have a boyfriend"I told him- the secret of being a bore is to tell everything. Then, I asked him – why do you want to know?(I emphasized on the why particularly)
He was taken aback by my straight forwardness. I could make that out. He told me – He was just curious.Then he told me he had to go , and left. I don't think there is any shame in being what you are , and saying it. But I know why people fear it, its just because they don't want to be left alone. Every human needs company, or to be more practical social respect. And it's a duty of every human who wants that respect for himself to give it to the others as well. Somebody's personal choice of sexuality doesn't affect me from stop behaving to him like a normal human \nbeing.I have seen a group of well educated decent humans ill treat a man just because they cannot see beyond their normal, parochial visions. Why is human approach so shallow? Let me put it in a politically correct way. Writing this has not been with the clear objective of giving a social message, this message is apparent, needn't be put into words. I am nobody to classify the right or the wrong. I can do it for myself. But still I can treat others with respect inspite of whatever way they choose to live their \nlives.I am not asking you to do the same,to be tolerant or anything, in the end it's a matter of your choice.I do lots of things based on instinct, and am asked why I do it like that. I want to know what is the other way to do it?\nI trust people because I think they should be trusted, I have been deceived, but I have also been trusted. So, its finally my way- whether I feel like remembering the goods or the bads. Whether I should stay clung to my setbacks or I should move ahead.\n Even Achilles had a heel, so my setbacks wont change my outlook to life, and people in general.I think this is a very practical thing written by a very impractical person. And lemme reiterate the fact that I am a highly biased and opinionated human being, and yet I can move out of this web I have weaved around me , when I CHOOSE to!\n",1]
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He was taken aback by my straight forwardness. I could make that out. He told me – He was just curious.Then he told me he had to go , and left. I don't think there is any shame in being what you are , and saying it. But I know why people fear it, its just because they don't want to be left alone. Every human needs company, or to be more practical social respect. And it's a duty of every human who wants that respect for himself to give it to the others as well. Somebody's personal choice of sexuality doesn't affect me from stop behaving to him like a normal human being.I have seen a group of well educated decent humans ill treat a man just because they cannot see beyond their normal, parochial visions. Why is human approach so shallow? Let me put it in a politically correct way. Writing this has not been with the clear objective of giving a social message, this message is apparent, needn't be put into words. I am nobody to classify the right or the wrong. I can do it for myself. But still I can treat others with respect inspite of whatever way they choose to live their lives.I am not asking you to do the same,to be tolerant or anything, in the end it's a matter of your choice.I do lots of things based on instinct, and am asked why I do it like that. I want to know what is the other way to do it? I trust people because I think they should be trusted, I have been deceived, but I have also been trusted. So, its finally my way- whether I feel like remembering the goods or the bads. Whether I should stay clung to my setbacks or I should move ahead. Even Achilles had a heel, so my setbacks wont change my outlook to life, and people in general.I think this is a very practical thing written by a very impractical person. And lemme reiterate the fact that I am a highly biased and opinionated human being, and yet I can move out of this web I have weaved around me , when I CHOOSE to!
-- Truth is not always popular, but it is always right. A free society is a place where it's safe to be unpopular. \n\n",0]
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11:15:55 AM
Posted By richa singh Comments (3) Uncategorized
Comments
richasudden Monday, February 26, 2007 11:29:39 AM
i think i have said that only above, u should atleast read b4 writing!
richasudden Monday, February 26, 2007 11:34:29 AM
i think i have said that only above, u should atleast read b4 writing!
perfektm Monday, February 26, 2007 11:43:25 AM
richagays are not bad... its us who made human good or bad. infact what is sex?remember, its only a fulfillment to remove the emptyness or lonlyness of life away...Gays feel it secure with other mens, where many peoples have ideology to press others on name of sex... perhaps the main reason of opression for womens(not all mens are like that anyways)..the only part is, that with a women a person can also reproduce.. but how much people think of reproduction when they have sex?so in short, dont judge people how they sex, as this is a need.. judge them with the deeds, with the type of relation(is it fraud that hurts other by cheating, or is it a fulfillment of basic need), and with the thinking